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With that I minced to the bathroom, careful not to rubmy sore nipples in her presence. I found a bottle of self tanninglotion, which I spread evenly over my entire body, turning myself adark shade of tan. A bottle of hair dye sat on the bathroom counter,and ten minutes later I was a stunning brunette. To my surprise, therewas a matching set of black lingerie on the bed, which consisted of abra, thong, garter belt and thigh highs. I hardly ever gotundergarments."Oh, baby, I almost forgot. You. I'M STANDING ON MY TOES TRYING TO NOT GET MY EAR PULLED OFF, WHILE SOBBING AND BEGGING FOR MERCY, WHILE SHE IS CUSSING , AND TELLING ME THAT SHE IS GOING TO TELL MOM AND DAD WHEN THEY GET HOME. I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR ANYONE KNOCK , BUT SHE SUDDENLY TELLS SOMEONE THAT THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED, AND FOR THEM TO COME ON IN. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE FOR ANY OF THAT TO EVEN REGISTER, BECAUSE SHE GRABBED THE SIDE OF MY TRUNKS AND IN A FLASH, SHE YANKED THEM DOWN TO MY ANKLES WITH HER SPARE HAND, AND SHOVED ME. .." Just Alan," I said."Alan. Okay. Look, if I was you, I'd get another mechanic to look 'er over." Yeah," Brad said to me. "Do you know one?" No, I don't," I admitted, but I was also thinking that this thing was priced well below market, too. "So what's YOUR recommendation?"Charley said, "I already told you. If I was a little more liquid right now, we wouldn't be having this con-versation."I looked at Tina. She was doing that smile thing again. I looked at Charley, then Brad. Gears were. Being party-head (you’ll excuse the inadvertent pun) in a one-party town gave him the pull to assure the inspectors would not bother us as long as we kept the place running clean, and guarantees of regular contributions to the ‘Widows and Orphans Fund’ made sure I had a little control over the matter. That and the lovely video, in gorgeous HD living color stereo, of him getting his hummer that morning was the little extra insurance I wanted. (A while later, he tried to squeeze me for cumshaw.
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